"God! Where are you?! I need you, and this is the only way I know how to reach you, but I can't feel you and I don't know what to do!" We've all prayed that prayer. Sometimes it feels like everything is happening all at once and we can't find our way out. God is there, but is He still watching me? Is He really holding me and loving me? You answer yourself: "Don't be ridiculous! Of course He is! He said I will never leave nor forsake me - are you completely faithless yet?!" But even thoughts are overwhelmed as head wars with heart, and you end up in desperate tears, your heart screaming out: Oh God! Please give me some assurance of your presence and your peace!
I've been there - we all have at some point, I think. It is a wretched condition that leaves you feeling completely wrenched in two, weary and utterly alone. Circumstances close in closer, and again I cried and pleaded for relief and assurance. But words fail to describe the anguish of soul in these seasons of the Walk. If you have lived it, you know what I mean.
Why do I feel so wretchedly overwhelmed and distanced from God? Sometimes, life goes through seasons of plenty and blessings. Then the seasons change and drought comes. Sometimes it is longer than other times, but the comfort is that seasons always march on. Australia is in the second month of winter now, and the days are chilly, but this year winter took a long time to come. By the middle of June, the days were still in the mid twenties Centigrade. It felt like the cold days were never going to come, but they did according to the promise of God in Genesis 8:22